


God Lies In All Realms

by Wolfermann



Category: The Terror (TV 2018), The Terror - Dan Simmons
Genre: Angst, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minor Character Death, Period-Typical Homophobia, Supernatural Elements, Tragedy, but he's a major character in my heart, or is it lead poisoning?, petition to make Henry Collins happy 2k18, you decide your own adventure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 22:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16147172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfermann/pseuds/Wolfermann
Summary: Five times Henry Collins thought he saw the ghost of Billy Orren, and the one time he did





	God Lies In All Realms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three times after he fell from the mast

It started almost hours after Billy had passed, slipped from the decks and into the unforgiving sea to an icy grave. Collins’ noticed something off in the corner of his eye; a shadow that wouldn’t disappear. It would manifest into the shape of something, someone familiar but disappear the moment he turned his head to face it. He had heard so many tales of men going mad from heartache, drove into insanity from the grief of seeing their beloved pass. In the first moments when Des Voeux held him back, Collins wanted to perish with Billy.

_You could have saved him_

_You didn’t even try_

The ship seemed to carry on and within hours tears had dried and the men were back to work, caring for the newly boarded David Young.

_How could they forget someone who was breathing just moments ago?_

Henry trudged on, even as the Captains approached him to dive to help the struggling ship. He noticed something stir when Commander Fitzjames put a hand on his shoulder and whispered his sympathies to him. Something meant to comfort the diver but he couldn’t quite make out the words as his aching heart pounded in his chest. It rose into a shadowy form before dissolving as Captain Sir Franklin bid him a good night.

_You are going mad_

* * *

Henry prayed in vain to not see him while he was down there. He was already on edge, there was no doctor to help him if something went wrong, and the officers looked at him unsympathetically before plunging into the depths. He worked on steadying his breathing so the shock of the cold wouldn’t set in, he could be in the thickest, most modern suit but even the arctic could penetrate him. Collins was at the mercy of the ocean as he worked with rigged and shaking arms to stir the ice from the propeller of poor _Erebus_.

The silence that was once a comfort to him made him feel worse. The thick oil caulking the inside of his helmet infiltrated his brain, as moisture collected on the port window. If he kept this up he would no longer be able to see.

_Calm yourself, remember your breathing_

Collins felt the hair of the back of his neck raise and a slithering sick feeling in his belly. Something was watching him- no someone was watching him from below the surface, its gaze boring holes through the back of his skull.

_Do not look, you won’t like what you see_

 He should have listened, oh god he should have but it beckoned him to turn around to face the monster in wait; the lifeless form of Billy Orren floated towards him. He looked as he did yesterday, just as lively and pink when Billy greeted him that morning with the softest of kisses. His lips were rosy, stretched into a perverse version of a smile. Billy’s beautiful long brown hair unfurled around his head like a halo. His eyes black and unblinking, as his arms outstretched to him and remained suspended as if beckoning the diver forward to embrace.

Henry watched him with the curiosity one gives to the macabre. Billy Orren was dead, he watched him take his last breath and give up fighting the cold. But here he was, not fifty feet away. Collins wasn’t soft, he had seen plenty of corpses before this, even of people he cared about but there was something evil about this. His heart felt like it was going to give out as a voice barely above a whisper flooded into his ears as Billy blinked before him,

_Henry you don’t belong down here, you need to leave this place._

“Pull me up!! Pull me up!!” Collins screamed in vain, not a single man above could hear him but they knew the signals as he tugged frantically. He jabbed at the ice block, freeing the ship as best he could while being lifted to the surface. The air supplied from the surface wasn’t enough to sustain him long as he clawed at the ropes for the safety of the ship.

Relief rushed over him as he broke free from the water, he didn’t bother to look below but he knew Billy was watching him being taken back onto the ship. Tears rolled down his reddened cheeks, ones he hadn’t noticed until they collected around the seal of his neck.

_Was that the devil?_

_You are mad_

* * *

David Young was dead and buried by the time Collins had recovered from what he had seen below. He managed to pull what little remained of him together to put on his regal uniform for the funeral on deck. He had not said a word to anyone of what he had seen, what he had heard- how could a sane man believe him. It was something he had to bury deep down in order to continue on. His father’s words echoed in his head,

“Harry you’re a good sailor but to be a man of stature you need to steel yourself.” If only it were that easy.

Collins stood awkwardly, letting the cool air sting at his face next to the two surgeons on board that didn’t have the time to help him earlier, he was forgiving of course especially upon seeing the particularly devastated face of one Mister Goodsir. It was whispered all over the ship how the assistant had stayed with the dying man until he passed.

Sir John began one of his signature sermons, his natural gift of speech and passion for the word of the Lord made the gathering less miserable to most around. If the Captain had not been around to prod at the diver while he was breaking down, he may have been more interested in whatever he had to say on the expedition.

_You know they forgot about Billy and they will forget about David and if you die out here, they will forget about you too_

He sounded more bitter than he meant to be but even the sting of the last sailors death didn’t seem to phase the crew. No one really knew how much Orren had meant to him, the burden a homosexual male in the British Navy buries deep down. His lover was dead and swept off to sea but he still clung to him. A part of him wished the ship would lumber forward so he wouldn’t have to worry about his corpse returning for a surprise again. If it was a spirit, it couldn’t follow them the whole expedition. By some logic it would be lost to the waters below, which made Collins far more cheerless. If there was a heaven, then his Billy surely belonged there.

Henry felt it again just as he put on his cap, cold pressing into his spine as if a hand felt its way up to his neck. The same whisper, sweet Billy’s voice pouring into his left ear away from the good doctor.  

_Don’t let it get you too, Henry_

He had to stop himself from an attack again, he wasn’t safe from Orren, if it truly was him. Collins turned upon dismissal, hoping to see nothing as he passed towards the safety of below the ship. Hope was in short supply as a figure crept through the crowd of like-minded men, it blended with the crew, a shadow in the shape of a man he once loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this prompt from a lovely anon on Tumblr sent to torment me with sad thoughts of these two. I'm hoping to turn this into a three chapter or less work. I'm going to finish this one I swear >.>


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